How deep do you go with your kids?

Darcy Luoma, master certified coach, dynamic facilitator, and engaging motivational speaker, has expertise in leadership, team development, emotional intelligence and personal effectiveness. Her optimistic attitude, warmth and intuitive style has helped hundreds of clients achieve remarkable results, including greater work/life balance, a clearer vision, and enhanced leadership. Darcy works with organizations to navigate change and successfully plan for the future by creating high-performing teams through systems coaching, designing and facilitating staff retreats, and executive coaching. Along with her favorite job being a mom of two daughters, she enjoys adventure travel, spicy chai lattes, competing in triathlons, and afternoon naps.

Darcy previously worked for a leadership consulting firm, did national advance for presidential campaigns, and served 12 years as the Director of U.S. Senator Herb Kohl’s office and is now a full-time leadership coach and organization development specialist. She designed the ICF accredited Professional Life Coaching Certificate program at UW–Madison and served as the Lead Instructor for five years and is now the Director of Training and Curriculum.

In this episode, Darcy Luoma and I talk about truth-telling with your children during a family crisis. How much do you tell your kids, and when is the age-appropriate time to have in-depth conversations with them? Darcy dives deep into her story and reveals her husband’s secret that changed everything. Darcy explains why pausing is essential – we should have the ability to choose how we respond. The choice is at our core. Don’t forget, we have to train our choice. To handle ourselves thoughtfully in any situation, we need to prepare.  Stay tuned as Darcy describes the importance of sharing our stories, the difference between doing + being, and why we need to learn how to forgive.

In This Episode:

  • About Darcy Luoma [ 0:50 ]
  • Darcy dives deep into her story [ 6:25 ]
  • Why we need to take a five-second pause [ 12:40 ]
  • How we can control our automatic fight or flight reaction [ 19:45 ]
  • How Darcy found peace within herself [ 25:30 ]
  • When we share our story, we can write the ending [ 29:15 ]
  • How secrets can create a disconnect within our families [ 33:15 ]
  • The difference between doing + being [ 41:25 ]
  • Darcy explains how things are with her daughters [ 49:30 ]
  • Why we need to let go of anger and judgment [ 54:30 ]



  • “The pause will kick you off auto-pilot.”
  • “Automatic reactions are not going to serve us.”
  • “Tap into empathy in our hearts and souls.”
  • “Secrets will create a disconnect.”
  • “Own your truth.”
  • “All we have are our reputations.”

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