You cannot calendar in when you are going to die. But you can calendar in when you are going to live.

Many people look at my way of living in awe. They wished they could feel more present in their own moments. They wished they could laugh more. Stress less. Live on their terms, not everyone else’s.

Do I have responsibilities? HA! Yes, especially as a single mom of three sons running her own business. My family and friends are also my world, and I know where my values lie.

In fact, last weekend is a perfect example of this. I drove my son and teammates from Los Angeles, California, to Phoenix, Arizona, for 4-days of important basketball games in front of college coaches. On Saturday morning, I boarded a flight from Phoenix to San Francisco and spent less than a day with my family. My cousin passed away and we had a celebration of her life. I made it back to Phoenix for my son’s last game on Sunday morning with 3-minutes to spare.

My weekend was fast-paced, yes. But I also stayed in the present moment, enjoying every second.

It was overflowing with moments and memories that I will never forget.

Driving to Phoenix and talking about life with my son and his teammate. Watching the team come back from a major deficit to win. Surprising my son with his team, birthday cupcakes, and singing in my hotel room. Margaritas and too much sushi with the parents. Spending time with my aunt and cousins. Celebrating Pamela’s life in a way that matched her spirit. Watching my dad and uncle dance to David Bowie.

Lack of sleep and all, I wouldn’t have done anything differently or missed any of this for the world.

Why?

Because everything that I did last weekend fed my soul. And what is more important than that?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

If your professional or personal life does not feel like it’s yours, CHANGE IT.

How?

Begin by asking yourself, “What is driving my life?” Seriously, sit with that question and be honest with your answer.

Unfortunately, we allow so much on the outside (society) to determine our inside (life).

This is where the shift needs to happen.

You see, life isn’t about material items. It’s not about titles or labels.

Our professional and personal lives are about the impact we make as humans. 

It’s about those positive moments and memories we hold tight. It’s about creating healthy change for this world. It’s about how we live with our kids, not for our kids. It’s about watching others take leaps because we have influenced them through our own mistakes and learning. Life is about giving back and receiving in return.

This is leadership in a way that changes your world, and the world around you.

I didn’t always think in this way.

And I certainly didn’t live like this!

10-years ago, my life completely changed. Over the course of five days, I found out my marriage wasn’t what I thought it was. I was debilitated by complex PTSD, with zero direction. I thought about taking my life, the pain was that excruciating. My life turned upside down, I no longer had a career and no family around me. I needed help and felt ashamed to ask for it.

10 years later, I am happier than I have ever been. Adventuring in my personal life, keynote speaking professionally, and running healing retreats in the Grand Canyon, Alaska, and the San Juan mountains. My podcast is on iHeart radio. I’m a published author, I’ve been on national tv talking about complex PTSD and healing, and I’ve spoken on the TEDx stage.

What got me to this place?

Me.

It was me realizing that everyone else in this world was directing my life. And it was time that I led my life as the director.

This is leadership in a way that changes your world, and the world around you.

Here are three steps to get you started:

1. Ask yourself, “What are my values?” 

My values are adventure, relationships, honesty, love, integrity, and forgiveness.. To name a few. If something feels “off” in my life, I know it’s because I am not honoring my values, and feeding what is important to me.

2. Calendar into your life what is important to you. #createit 

Every year, I take a trip just for me. It feeds my adventurous spirit, I build upon the relationships with friends in my group whom I go with, and I get to know myself even more. Nothing, absolutely nothing, gets in the way of this time. I honor myself in the process, and that feels good.

3. Stop making excuses. 

There will always be a reason not to do something, just like there will always be a reason to do something. Stop watching how others live their lives and go live your own. One step at a time, I promise, you will never regret what you have done. You will, however, regret what you didn’t do.

Try these three steps and let me know how they work for you.

xo

Sara

 

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